Round 5

[porsche]

Well...this isn't good. I'm trying really hard not to get paranoid, but I have a lot to lose here. Every time you vote in the minority you really question your place in the game. Going into this round I thought I was on top. I had two four player alliances, I knew people trusted me and I was just going with the house, taking out the easy targets people weren't connected to and throwing everything. The game was pretty easy and I saw myself as in the top 3 on almost everyone's list of their favorites.

That's not the case anymore. Luckily for me, Marvin stayed and knows that I'm on his side and he'll be a big target just like I wanted. But even though I voted for Will and Will left, that was only because of Marvin's power and Jen unexpectedly breaking the tie in Marvin's favor. When I left for class, I was preparing on how to move forward in the game with Marvin out and Will in. But that doesn't change the fact that I was on the wrong end of what would have been a 5-2 vote if everyone's votes counted.

And me voting in the minority isn't what bothers me. I knew that Marvin wasn't well-liked and that he would be getting votes to evict, but I saw an opportunity to keep him in the game and get out someone that was in the middle and unpredictable. But judging from his reaction to me, he felt close to me (though closer to David and Sarah at the very least) and betrayed when I voted him out. So I just played that round badly I think. Marvin is a huge target but he's also the definition of a sinking ship. If I knew that everyone, even David, was voting him out, it might have made more sense to follow the house. I think I campaigned to keep him too much.

But what bothers me is that everyone lied about it. Not even lied, so much as lead on. People played this vote very coy with me. I didn't get a lot of information and the info I got was not accurate. I think this was due in large part to Marvin's power. They knew there was a chance he could stay if he used it and wanted him to use it on the wrong people so everyone who was going to evict him still got to vote. And if they wanted to lead him on so he used it on the wrong people, then by playing coy about it with me, that means that they didn't trust me.

With me having to rethink about this game, I think it's time for another cast rundown. I'm doing it alphabetically, not by rankings, because I have no clue how I would rank these players.



Austin: Austin is one of the few people I still trust. There was the whole weird deal with the Jen/Sarah alliance and the he said/she said on who started it. I believe Jen/Sarah's story more, which makes it weird when Austin told me how sorry he was that he was forced into that position and how he would love to get me/David involved when he was the one who set it up. But he's the only other person who voted for Will and besides that one weird situation with the alliance, he hasn't done anything that made me question him. I trust him and I feel very good that he trusts me. I'd like to think that after David's Marvin vote, he trusts me the most.



Cody: Cody makes me very nervous. He's already told Jen that he thought it was "weird" that I was voting to keep Marvin, which I can see why he would think that from his perspective, but it doesn't make me feel good. It's very difficult to get a read on him because of the way he talks. It's very light, flitting from topic to topic and not heavy on game at all. I don't know what our relationship is like now because we haven't spoken at all about game ever since I suggested keeping Marvin. And then he has these very passionate opinions about the game that come out of nowhere, which is great when we agree like on keeping Sarah, and not so great when we disagree. We haven't even talked about the vote since it happened. I'm very very happy that he can't win HOH.



David: I'm not very sure what to think about David now. He was telling me before the veto that he was on board to keep Marvin and even agreed that Will wasn't as active and said that he didn't talk to him anymore. And then on the night before the vote, he suddenly dropped it on me that he wasn't as solid on keeping Marvin anymore and started to strongly hint that he was voting him out. I talked with him and his opinions didn't change though he said he was on the fence. He has to be close with more than just me and Austin, right? He did speak well about Sarah and Louise earlier. I know he's on Jen's radar and I wouldn't be surprised if he was on Cody's or Mark's eventually. I don't want him to go but if he's a target, better him than me. I'll have to find out just how much he knew. I do appreciate that he was at least honest with me about his thoughts and I feel good about him being on my side. I need him to be. Jen suspects a David/Cody/Mark alliance. I don't think David and Cody would work together. If that alliance does exist though, that's people from my two four player alliances, which would mean I would be exposed. And it doesn't feel like that's happened. I still want to work with David, though Austin has a point that he might have known more than he was letting on. One thing that I did notice, though, was him saying he wanted Marvin out because he would be a bitter juror. If he wanted to make it to the end with me or Austin, Marvin being bitter or not doesn't matter.


Jen: Jen is off my radar now. Well, not completely. I'm still aware that she's a strong player and I know she sees me as a social player. But I think we need each other, and we know it. She's gotten paranoid of an alliance formed to keep Will safe. I think she's just being paranoid, but I've also noticed how weird that whole vote was. The people who I thought I had connections with aren't telling me everything, and I don't think it hurts to be cautious. I have more people to worry about than her. I think there's a much bigger chance my name comes up this round than there was prejury and I know I'm one of the few Jen trusts. However, I do not want her getting to the end.



Louise: I feel like I've had on Louise-blinders for the longest time. I've adored her so much that I think I forgot that she's playing the game. She's a pretty social player, and I am not happy with her for that last vote. When I talked to her last night I was expecting her to say she wanted Marvin out. She said she didn't like him before and if she said that I would understand. However, she told me she would follow what I did while at the same time telling Jen she would follow what Jen did. And then when I say that I'm keeping Marvin, she agrees with me without verbally agreeing, saying she's gotten to like him, talking about giving him tips to improve his social game, that Will didn't really talk to her, how she really tried changing Cody's mind to keep Marvin. Everything except for actually committing to the vote. And then when the votes are revealed, she voted Marvin out and apparently lied right to his face.

I talked with her tonight and it went pretty well. She apologized and told Jen to evict Will and it was backed up by Jen. But still, that means that she got what she wanted but didn't have to stick her neck out which annoys me. And when explaining her vote, she said this:

Louise Cliffe (22:39:11):
i did not realize Austin was voting him and i was awful busy

But last night, I had already told her Austin was voting Will:

Porsche Briggs (01:29:54): but from what I'm getting, I think Austin would evict Will, Mark and David seem on the fence

I feel better about Louise than I did after the vote, when I looked back on everything she had been saying and it felt super slimy, but I also don't totally trust her, and I'm glad that at least this vote showed me I should keep an eye on her.



Mark: Really not sure how to feel about him. I've bounced back and forth. Earlier before the vote I was thinking of him as a potential final 2 partner, especially when he brought up a final 3 with Jen. After the vote, I was upset with him. He had avoided committing to anything, either for voting for Will or voting for Marvin, when talking to me and he gave the sense that he was open to it and was even talking as if he was seeing my side more than Cody's. He even said losing Will was not a loss. And then when everyone else talked to me about him, they said he was campaigning for Marvin to leave and I feel weird that he wouldn't just tell me that. His reasons for voting out Marvin do make sense but I just wish he had filled me in. I don't see the point in keeping it secret, unless he didn't want me to tell Marvin. But I talked with him and I think we're good, though I can't say for certain. A couple things in our conversation stood out to me though, and I don't know if he knows more than he's letting on.

Mark Byron
And no I don't trust Cody more than you... I think Cody talked WAY too much game to people this last week. I'll still be happy to work with you and Jen as long as our final 3 can be real and I'm not a pawn for any other alliances

Me worrying about him trusting Cody more than me hadn't even been brought up in our conversation but I shared those concerns with Jen. Jen said she was paranoid about Mark. I don't know. And where did the worry about being a pawn for other alliances come from?



Marvin: He frustrates me. I do think I'm the one he trusts the most and after the mess this week was, I'm very happy he's still in the game. He is a great shield but he's starting to become a liability. Maybe he already was a liability and I should have just let him go last round. I'm sure I'm linked to him now and I don't know what to do about it. Unless me or Austin or (maybe) David or Louise win he's going up and if he's on the block I think he goes home. I'm not sure if that would be good for me or not. I know I'm good with him and I know he's a shield, but it also might be easier to be trusted if people weren't worried about my connection with Marvin. I'm also a little worried I could be the pawn next to him. You want to get him out, put up someone who pushed for him to stay so they don't get a vote or influence. I think I would stay, but what if he won the veto? And also, he is not keeping up the effort with his social game! He apparently had a great conversation with Mark to stay off the block but then Mark complained that Marvin didn't even talk to him after he was HOH. I feel like I'm putting in more effort to keep Marvin safe than Marvin is and it's annoying.


Sarah: I'm not sure what happened. I thought I was on great terms with her a couple weeks ago, especially when she told me about the Austin alliance and now it just doesn't feel the same. Today is the first time I've talked with her in three days and she has been busy so I'm not worried about that, but it felt so different and not like a Sarah conversation at all. It sounded like she thought I manipulated Austin into voting for Will, seemed upset that Will left without ever really getting into it or admitting she was upset, and it just felt short and abrupt. I don't know if I made the right choice keeping her around over Amy, but Amy's social game was not good, and pushing for that would have been even worse than what happened this round.




So, I'm feeling a little nervous. When I saw the HOH competition, I was thinking, "perfect, I'll just throw again. I'll just "find" the Get out of HOH card and post it late." But now I might need to win. I don't think I'm in danger. If I do go up, I assume it would be against Marvin and I would stay. But I'm not in as good of a position as I thought, and the last round was eye opening. If I won, I would probably put up Sarah and Cody, just because I feel like those are the two who are questioning me the most, but I would need to think about it. The only people who I wouldn't touch are Austin and Jen and probably David and Marvin.  Putting up Cody would be a headache because it would be breaking the alliance, but I don't even know how real that is anymore. Someone like Austin winning would be the best case scenario.

[Ika]

Hun  you made it to Week 5

I see the dearly  departed Will

called you out

What you going to do about it?

 

go get that HOH .....

[porsche]

I saw Will called me out, and here is my reaction:



It's a game. There's no reason to be that bitter about it. He said that the reason he got so many votes over Marvin was because of his social game. It goes both ways. He wasn't totally active in this game, and I get that his timezone really hurt him. But at the same time Marvin did a better job of making me feel like I was his #1, and I saw it making more strategic sense to have Marvin in the game.

I do feel for Will though. I did like our talks but with me having other allies and him not being around as much, and especially with us not talking game, I never really seriously considered him as an ally. And with how strong his reaction was, I regret not giving him a chance.

I am happy he was eliminated when he was, though. He missed the jury by one round and that's a very good thing for me. I don't want him sitting there by himself, stewing, being the first one to talk to whoever got evicted next. I didn't even have an alliance with him. If he lasted longer, than I would have gotten the same reaction if I voted him out.

I'm more worried about how the other players will respond to Will's words. The thing is, he's right. I have been very social, and that means I've had to be fake. I can't be loyal to every single player who feels like they're close to me. I don't want people to take his words seriously. I want them to think of him as just bitter and forget about it. Only people like Austin, Jen and Mark have comforted me about it. I'm hoping everybody just forgets about it, but I know I'm seen as more of a threat now. He clearly trusted me, I think people could see that I was pretty well-liked, and I don't know who's questioning their bond with me now.

This HOH competition will be interesting. I think there's a good chance I could be put up. I went for the Get out of HOH Power, which might have been a mistake. But when I saw it in the thread that early, I just went and posted it.  A lot is going to depend on who wins. I actually tried more than I had been for this competition. I was mostly focused on looking for negative ones. And then midway through I remembered a trick that made searching through the images easier and wasted time trying to find it. Long story short, I don't think I won. It wouldn't be bad for me though if I didn't win, as long as someone like Austin or Marvin wins though. I don't know, I'm just nervous for the results.

My predictions on the nominations, depending on who wins:
Austin: Mark/Cody. Maybe Louise
David: Mark/. Jen is worried it will be her.
Louise: Mark/
Mark: Marvin/
Marvin: Sarah/Cody. Maybe Louise or Mark
Sarah: Marvin/me

What worries me is that I'm an obvious choice to go up as a pawn. I targeted Sarah because I was expecting her to put me up. Whatever trust I had with her, I think it's gone now. David, Louise and Mark I hope I'm still good with, but I need to do damage control. 

I'm going to learn from my mistakes last week. I'll see who the nominations are, see who most people want to do, figure out what I want, and subtly push that. And if the house wants something the opposite of what I want, I'll need to know when to pull back and not sketch people out any more. Last week was a wakeup call, and I know I need to play smart and look like a good ally. Just being social isn't going to get me the win on it's own.

[porsche]

That's how I feel right now. I was feeling awful after the HOH results. Sarah was the one person I didn't want to win, and she won. I feel so dumb for this, but I didn't realize that the Get out of HOH card meant that, well, I got out of the HOH. I don't even know how to defend that, but luckily me going for the prize was a good thing! Now I have a veto in my back pocket, and I want it to stay there. If I get into some trouble down the road, I won't have to worry about it. I can just pull out the veto, take myself off and go hard for the HOH.

I do need to figure out how I'm going to play this though. First thing to figure out is what to tell the others. My first thought was that I should be honest, tell people that I had the veto as a way of rebuilding trust, and that it can be something we can use to get ourselves further.

I've ruled that out however. If I tell everyone I have the veto, everyone will know I have the veto. This can make things awkward if people on the block want me to save them. Even more importantly, it getting out that I have the veto would be very bad for me. The current HOH is targeting Marvin. Last round I pushed hard to save Marvin. If I'm Sarah, I'm putting me up next to Marvin and flushing out the veto. Then she doesn't have to worry about me pulling Marvin off the block. I would be in a very tricky situation if that happened. If I used the veto, I lose Marvin and the veto. If I keep it in my pocket, people might see that as a threat and maybe I go home over Marvin.

So telling people is out. I need a coverstory though, and I'm thinking of saying it's an advantage in a future HOH competition. This prize was important enough where you had to quit the HOH challenge in order to even have a chance at it. If I say it's nothing or a punishment, people will be skeptical. They still might be skeptical if I say it's a challenge advantage. I want to hit the sweet spot where it's good but not too good.

Sarah doesn't have to worry about me using the veto on Marvin, though. I've already decided that it isn't worth it. If the votes are there to keep him safe, great. If they aren't, I'll let him go. I already made a stand last round, and if I lie to people about my veto only to immediately use it on Marvin, all it's going to accomplish is give him an extra round and make me a target alongside him. I want to keep this veto to myself and use it down the road when I need it, or maybe at final 6 if I want to make a move.

Sarah is frustrating me a lot. She's been so noncommittal, isn't talking and hasn't even told me that I am safe. I just want to know I'm good, relax, and then figure out what I want to do. She's been throwing out the idea of Mark/Marvin nominations which is fine with me, though it does place me in a tricky spot having to choose between the Marvin/Austin/David alliance and the Jen/Cody/Mark alliance. I see the votes working out like this:
Marvin: Cody, Sarah's tiebreaker
Mark: Louise (?), David, Austin
With me and Jen as the swing votes. But it would depend on what Louise was doing as well as seeing if David/Austin thought it was time to let him go. I think it would be better for me if Mark left, but if Marvin goes and I don't take any heat that is good with me too.

But anyway, I just want to stay safe this week and it's very hard to even know what is going to happen. Sarah and I complained about people who sent bad IMs, but Sarah can be added to that list as well. She was talking about nominating Mark as a pawn next to Marvin but not being sure about it, so I asked the obvious question of if there was anyone else she was considering. I had to wait 24 minutes for this gem:

Sarah Miller
Do you have someone you'd want up?

Ugh. I'm really wondering if I'm an option she's considering, but it sounds like she's been noncommittal to everyone. Hey, that's fine with me. If today is any indication, I don't think she's someone I can work with. I'll say something and thirty minutes later I'll get a reply that doesn't answer a whole lot. If her vagueness and her unwillingness to be open turns people off, that's her problem. If you're going to win HOH, you should at least figure out who your nominations would be beforehand.

If I do go up next to Marvin, I'm very tempted not to use the veto. It would be a gamble but I'm pretty sure I would be fine and I don't want to waste it. It would be so much better to just stay off the block. I won't relax until I see the nomination ceremony.

[porsche]

So clearly I needed a bigger wakeup call. I was already feeling iffy on Mark. His behavior the last round was really weird and I wasn't sure what to think, but wow. I thought Austin and Jen were being paranoid when they were talking about David playing both sides, and an alliance created to save Will. But they were spot on, and I was just being naive.

Let's back up. My last update was before the ceremony. I logged on this morning and saw that Sarah had put up Marvin as expected and...Mark. I get why she would do that. Mark put her up and it's a nice way to keep blood off her hands. But really, did she see what happened last week? Marvin was put up, a lot of people wanted him gone, and he stayed. Mark is someone who doesn't have a lot of connections (at least, that's what I thought) and he would be a guaranteed vote for Marvin to go. I was very worried I could be going up as a pawn when Sarah won, and I'm very happy to be safe, but she's taking a big risk that Marvin will stay again.

The first piece of news I got was from Louise, who told me she "believed Mark led me on with the intention of getting me nominated." This freaked me out, but it turned out to be just Mark saying this:

I understood why she did it. I nominated her two weeks ago, but I had hoped that instead of me she would have nominated someone who saved Marvin.

I would be one of the only three options he's talking about, but meh. That doesn't bother me that much, it's only natural to not want to be nominated. Louise did confirm, however, that Mark campaigned to her to save Will, which goes with what I've already heard, and contradicts what Mark told me during the vote, where he tried to portray himself as in the middle between what me and Cody were pushing for. I'm assuming she would vote out Mark, but with what happened during the last vote, I'm not taking her vote for granted unless she clearly tells me to my face.

I also talked to Jen and she said she wanted to keep Marvin over Mark, but she's in a tough spot having to vote publicly. If she votes for Mark, shit will go down.

Next I talked to Mark. Well, talked wasn't the right word. He sent me an IM meant for someone else, I replied, and he asked me "did I want to play in the veto". Which was great, except for the fact that he had already picked Louise with his houseguest's choice one minute earlier. He said he picked Louise because he didn't think I was here, but I'm pretty sure I had a green circle next to my name, and of the twelve hour deadline Mark had to pick someone, only two hours had passed.

And why Louise? Austin thinks he had a deal with Louise, but I don't know. Louise has been trash talking him a lot to me. If they did have a deal, she's taken a huge amount of effort to cover it up. It makes more sense if they didn't have a deal. That would mean Mark thinks he's safe if he stays on the block versus Marvin, and wants to make sure whoever wins will not use it on Marvin. That means that he doesn't totally trust me.

The Louise pick for houseguest's choice made me question Mark even more. I was already thinking that I wanted to be more loyal to the David/Austin alliance than the Jen/Mark/Cody alliance. Jen felt the same way as I did about it, Cody was basically refusing to talk game with me after already complaining about my Will vote, and Mark was acting weird while also misleading me during the last vote.

Then I talked to David. He let me know that Mark had asked to work with him, and he was already saying he wanted to vote out Marvin over Mark. This was a huge shift from him telling me last week that Mark wasn't benefiting our games in any way and he wanted to get him out. And then I mentioned that Jen was being paranoid about an alliance created to save Will:


Porsche Briggs (21:37:39): she's mentioned being worried about a pro Will alliance
David (21:39:44): I don't think that's really a thing


Ummm...okay? That is the weirdest wording ever. I'm talking about a hypothetical alliance formed to keep Will safe and David's response is that it's not "really" a thing. Why not just say that he hasn't heard anything?

Our conversation fizzled out after that, and I was just sitting there, thinking. I didn't feel like the me/Jen/Cody/Mark alliance was real anymore, and there was a lot more shadiness during the last vote than there had to be. I wasn't sure about what was going on anymore, and I was worried about being exposed. Playing both sides only works as long as both sides trust you, and I felt like there was something else going on.

So I bit the bullet and told David about the Mark/Cody/Jen alliance. His reaction?

David (22:20:57): Ooooh be
David (22:21:00): He is sneaky
David (22:21:05): We should vote out Mark
David (22:21:18): He made an alliance with me and Cody during the vote
Porsche Briggs (22:21:30): LOL
David (22:21:28): SNEAKY BASTARD

David (22:28:42): This is very interesting though and I think we should vote out Mark


Great. I'm very happy I filled David in. The Mark/Cody/Jen/me alliance was not going to last, and I'm in a much better position being the one to fill David in than if his new allies are the ones doing it. I'm also feeling a lot better knowing what actually went down during the vote, and not having to worry about whether I'm paranoid or not. That alliance happening makes sense and explains a lot, though I'm still unclear on what Louise's role in all this is. I don't think she's innocent.

Lol at Mark and Cody. Good on them for trying to set something else up and not just relying on me, but I know what's going on now. Their game is exposed to me, and best of all, they don't know that I know. I'm going to make sure that Mark goes home this week, and if the veto gets used and he comes down, I'll try to win the next HOH and put up Mark and Cody, and hopefully they wouldn't do the same to me.

I can't forget David's role in all this either. The last round, he was telling me before the veto that he wanted Marvin around, and that he wasn't using the veto on Will because he wasn't around and wasn't active. When I talked with him the night before the vote, he told me he was "leaning" towards voting out Marvin because he didn't want me, him, Austin and Marvin to get exposed as an alliance if we all went against the house to keep Marvin. The next morning, after Mark and Louise made it sound like they would be okay if Will left, David's response was that he wanted Marvin out because "he would be a bitter juror." Are you fucking kidding me? And all along, his real reason was that he was in an alliance whose goal was to get Marvin out.

David made sure he set himself up well last week. He had me, Austin and Marvin on one side, and Mark and Cody on the other, and he made himself look good to the house and to Will (who he thought was staying) by voting Marvin out. Meanwhile, me and Austin took the heat and while I'm happy David told me, I'm well aware that he didn't tell me the real reason for his vote at the time and that he was looking out for himself before even considering me and Austin.

Now, I know I sound hypocritical, but this is my confessional and I'll say what I want  I am aware that I did the same thing and I played both sides with Mark and Cody as well, enjoying their alliance and even throwing HOH to Mark. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't be questioning David's intentions either.

The problem with my endgame plan was that I didn't really have one. Cody I can never get a read on and I'll probably want him out next. I have a feeling Jen is the type of player who is eventually going to target threats and she's made it clear she considers me a strong player. I'd rather strike first. Louise is someone I want to believe is on my side, but she has also made me question her, and I'm not sure where she stands or what her plans are. Mark is shady as hell. Marvin I'm probably going to have to let go at some point. And Sarah really threw me off with her thinking I manipulated Austin into voting out Will, and by refusing to talk game this week or even give me reassurances. She's also connected to Austin and I want to make sure he isn't too powerful.

That leaves Austin and David and if I'm successful, I see myself going deep into the game with both of them. However, I know that the two of them are close. I don't forget that right after Marvin made the alliance with me, Austin and David, David told me Austin told him he thought I had a final 2 with Marvin. I can't go to the final 3 with Austin and David if they're closer to each other. I'm also very aware that I don't have a final 2 partner, and I do a lot better in games where there's someone I can share everything with and in return they can keep me sane.

So after David told me about his alliance with Cody/Mark, he went offline and eventually Austin logged on. I knew I wanted to be the one to tell Austin about the news. I didn't want David to be able to put his own spin on it. So I filled him in on both alliances, and his reaction was just what I hoped for. He now hates Mark and wants him and Cody out, which works for me. He's also distrusting David a lot more now, and is even discussing going after him sometime around final 6. Maybe that's good for me, maybe it isn't. I'll have to play it by ear. But the important thing is that I feel very strongly like I've firmly established myself as Austin's #1. If it was between me and David, I'm confident he would pick me. He's said multiple times how much he loves me.

I find it very amusing how I'm coming off so well and Cody and Mark are coming off so badly, when I was playing both sides harder than anyone. But hey, I won't complain. My read on it is that the alliance with Cody and Mark was genuine on their end until I started pushing for Marvin to stay, and then they started looking for other options. But if they're not loyal to me now, that's all I'm concerned about.

Austin has told me that if the nominations remain the same, he's going to tell people Mark and Cody approached him for an alliance too. I think that's hilarious. It will ruin their reputation even further, and hopefully if Cody won HOH next, he would be more mad at Austin for accusing him of being in an alliance he wasn't in than he would be at me for selling the alliance out.

The one bad news was when Austin asked me what my prize was, so...I told him. I hope he doesn't tell anyone else. This was after we had already bonded even further, and I tried to frame my veto as something that could help either of us and needed to stay a secret. He may expect me to use it on him if he's in danger, though. Sorry Austin, you probably are my #1 but I'm not using this on anyone except myself. I probably should have just lied to him but he had already said how much he loved me and if I told him I won an advantage in a HOH and then two rounds later I pulled out the veto, that would ruin any trust I had been built. I'm not telling anyone else though. If it gets out, I'll know it came from him. Nobody else has asked me about it which is weird. Did they forget? If they did, I'm not reminding them.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I stayed off the block, got to the bottom of what exactly happened last round, found out about Mark and Cody's double dealing, got the albatross of the alliance of 4 off my back (and yes, it was an albatross), and planted some seeds of distrust in Austin towards David to get him closer to me. Oh, and I have a secret power of veto that (almost) nobody knows about. I always get a reality check any time I get cocky, but right now I'm feeling really good.

[porsche]

I'm sitting here waiting for the results of the veto and I'm so nervous. Mark winning would be bad. Cody winning and using it on Mark would be really bad. I have no idea who Sarah would nominate, and I wouldn't be surprised if I went up. Marvin winning would be good in the sense that Mark would still be on the block, but I have no idea who would be the replacement. Would Mark become Sarah's target? I don't know. I would be happy if David won but he said he threw it. Louise or Sarah winning would be the best case scenario. This veto draw was awful for me. I would trust me, Austin or Jen with the veto the most, and none of us are even competing. I'm pretty disappointed to not be playing. This would be the first competition I would be giving 100% in and I'm very curious to see how I would do. I thought about using my veto chip but I'm pretty sure if I did that everybody would think I wanted to take Marvin off when I was actually playing to keep the nominations the same. It's better for me to not reinforce the idea that I'm close with Marvin and instead just hope for the best.

[porsche]

blargh Mark won the veto. This is incredibly frustrating. The votes were there to get Mark out. I had already laid the groundwork. David had been flipped from wanting to work with Mark and Cody to catching onto their double dealing and targeting Mark. Austin was already going to vote for Mark I believe, but from my conversations with him, he wanted it so badly he was willing to start rumors about a fake alliance. Jen was already on board with it but thanks to Austin's alliance rumors, it became even more of a priority for her. That was four votes already, which was all I needed.

But then of course my plan went wrong, Mark won the veto, and he obviously took himself off. I'm not very happy with Sarah not doing the challenge and David throwing it, but whatever. The Blindside Mark plan was out the window, and I needed to figure out what to do next. I would have loved to get Cody on the block and vote him out instead. He's probably a bigger threat, thanks to his relationship with Louise.

Austin went and told Jen about the "alliance" they made with him and Jen filled Sarah in. I wanted to tell Sarah about the alliance I had with Mark and Cody but Jen told me not to and I'm glad she didn't. Not only was Sarah unbothered by the rumored Austin/Mark/Cody alliance but she even told Mark about it! Mark, the guy who she nominated and the guy who put her up two rounds earlier! Did I miss something here? It is very interesting however, because the Austin/Cody/Mark alliance didn't exist and she was right to be skeptical. Is she really close to Cody or something?

Jen was talking to me about getting David up and out. Sarah was talking about nominating David, but I wasn't not a fan of that idea. She would expect me and Austin to be votes against him, and we're in an alliance with David. I would consider it for sure, especially after David hung me out to dry last week, but I see it being too risky to attempt, especially because we would need Louise or Sarah's votes and I'm not going to go campaigning to them when David wants to work with me. However, Jen would expect me to be a vote against David and it would leave me in a tricky position.

I tried to gently explain to her how it would be risky to prepare her for David staying, and then all of a sudden she informed me she volunteered to go up as a pawn. What the hell? She was ready to campaign to keep Marvin safe and now all of a sudden she's cool going up as a pawn to get him evicted? I've got to be missing something here.

If she did go up as a pawn, I would be forced to vote out Marvin. Taking a shot at Jen is very tempting, and it would be hilarious to blindside her after she volunteered to go on the block. But the votes just wouldn't be there. David isn't close with her and he would be a Jen vote for sure. I could probably convince Austin we needed Marvin more. That's 3. Who else though? Cody and Mark are in an alliance with Jen and they both want Marvin out. Louise maybe, but she is very close with Jen and she already voted for Marvin once. I am not going to campaign to her at all after the way the last time I did went. And Marvin is Sarah's target. I'm not using my veto, so I just don't see any way to save Marvin.

If Sarah waits to post the ceremony, David comes online later, I could get him to tell Sarah about the alliance Cody/Mark made and I separately fill Sarah in on the Cody/Mark/Jen alliance, and maybe that would work. I feel very uneasy about it though. Sarah told Mark about the rumors of the alliance he was in with Austin AND that Jen volunteered when Jen said she asked Sarah not to tell anyone. Sarah didn't even tell me. So there's a good chance Sarah could just tell Mark and Cody everything. If I wake up tomorrow and the ceremony isn't posted and David's online, I might as well give it a shot, but I'm uneasy.

Marvin going home annoys me. I just stuck my neck out there to save him, and he goes home the next round. He would have been the perfect person to take to the final 2. It might help me long-term though. Me going out of my way to save him raised some eyebrows and if he's out, people will trust me more. I think I'm his #1 though, so I would really hate to be forced to let him go.

At least I'm not on the block. It didn't seem like I was someone Sarah even considered, which is great. I see David becoming her next target. I trust her more now that I know I was safe with her winning HOH, though I still don't trust her totally. Her telling Mark stuff she didn't tell me when she just nominated him was really weird. And if I want to make sure Austin doesn't get into a better position than me, she needs to go soon.

The next HOH will be very important. This is actually the first one I'm really trying in. I would rather someone like Jen or Austin won and they got to get the blood on their hands, but if it's similar to the last HOH, where everybody competes separately and then the results are posted after 24 hours, I can't afford to throw it. I think I would be fine if Mark or Cody won, but they would probably go after someone like Austin and I don't want that to happen. It will be the final 8, it's time to start taking some shots. I'll play to win and nominate Mark and Cody. I'll just say I found out about their alliances with David and Austin and hopefully they'll be mad at them and especially Austin for lying and whoever stays won't come after me. And if they do, I have my veto. But I would much rather see someone like Austin win, and then whoever survives will hopefully still want to work with me.

[porsche]

OH MY GOD I WAS THINKING ABOUT STRAY VOTING FOR MARVIN TO STAY

phew